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Red Carpet

from Spit And Polish by Wobbie Wobbit

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lyrics

In my dream last night I was mingling with the stars of the British music scene
Past and present
Dead and alive
In a red carpet after show party

I could read their minds

Ian dury was chatting with Ray Davies
Convinced that ray didn't like him
But ray was more concerned with Lilly Allen in the corner
Who was giving him funny looks
He presumes because of the vol-au-vent debacle
Really she is thinking
"He's laughing at my fringe"

Toyah brushes past me concerned she will not make it to the loo in time
There's Damon Albarn and that bloke who was in EastEnders
"Park Life!"
They are caught up in a spiral of out-cockneying each other
Until they dissolve in a heap of
Cor blimey how's yer father Lady Godiva I should coco
"I don't even know what I'm saying anymore" thinks Damon
"Nor me" thinks the bloke who was in EastEnders

"Hold up" said Billy Bragg
"I just saw David Bowie over there!
How did he get here too?"
I said "That was Ziggy Stardust
This is Aladdin Sane
You can do that here"
And Billy shuddered inwardly
While laughing a hearty laugh
And shouting "Neat!"

"Oh hi Billy" said David
Just knowing billy doesn't like that hi-hat sound in Space Oddity
"See you around, David" said paul weller
Glad of an excuse to get away
Thinking "He just wants to steal my winkle pickers"

Ohmygod! Don't look now but here's Robbie Williams!
He's upset that Suggs just ignored him
But playing it cool
Maybe if he could see that Suggs was only upset himself
He was sure that Paul Mc ****** Cartney
Had spat in his beer

Robbie made a beeline for Freddie Mercury
Well he would wouldn't he?
"Hey Robbie I like your style" said Freddie
Robbie's heart fluttered
Even though he was positive
Freddie could see he was a fake

Elton john, Phil Collins and Ed Sheeran tried to get a conga going
Thinking "We'll show them"
While Sting and Kate Bush looked on
Cringing inside
But laughing and applauding them
Eyeing each other as if to say
"Aren't we good sports"

And the convivial words and the contrary thoughts
Reverberate around the room
A soup of paranoia and insecurity

"Excuse me" came a voice behind me
It was Syd Barrett
"Couldn't help reading your mind
You see them too don't you?"

credits

from Spit And Polish, released October 14, 2021

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about

Wobbie Wobbit London, UK

Convivial humour and unique songs
From Haringey in North London. I take part in online song writing challenges fawm.org and fiftyninety.fawmers.org where most of my songs are written.
Most of my songs have at least a gentle humour, and those that don't I hope are just as warm.
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